Life’s Lemons
August 14, 2016
Ugly Secret
August 27, 2016

When a woman falls in love with a man, nobody else’s opinion matters to her.
My name is Abby, a 32 year old, hardworking, single girl whose major crime is falling in love (with a wrong man). I loved Chris wholeheartedly and would do anything just to make him happy. We met two years ago through a friend and I must say it was love at first sight for me. The bond was so strong; or so I thought, and I couldn’t just do without him. Chris is a ladies’ man; hardly will you see him in the company of men. If they are not colleagues at work, they will come as friends or old school mates. Initially I was bothered but his constant reassurance of his undying love put me at ease.

Spending on Chris wasn’t hard for me because I believed spending is a reflection of what you value deeply. I gave him access to my bank account, my car and flat. To me, I was kind of practising submission to my ‘husband to be’. My friends cautioned me that I was taking things too far with someone I wasn’t married to, but I ignored their counsel completely, and kept them at a distance.

Chris began to make unnecessary demands especially once he knew I have received my salary. I soon had little or no savings. I do not get to see what he spends the money on, and when I question him, he gets angry, and become verbally abusive. He’d retort that I should keep my money to myself. At that point, I’d end up pleading with him for forgiveness since I didn’t want to lose him to another woman.

I had to go on an official trip some months ago that would last a week. Chris dropped me off at the airport and promised to pick me immediately I returned. Somehow I finished my assignment earlier than scheduled so I decided to reschedule my flight so as to give Chris a surprise visit. I knew he was staying in my flat so I got a cab to drop me off at home. I gained access to my apartment through the back door so I could sneak in on him but I got the greatest shock of my life! There was Chris, in my bed with another woman. I broke down in tears as both of them got dressed and left me alone without any sign of remorse. For two weeks, he avoided me like a plague but I finally had to find a way to see him because I couldn’t bear losing him. Instead of him apologising to me, I was the one doing the begging. He claimed he was just using the other lady but it was me he actually loved. I fell for his sweet talk and moved on with the relationship. I guess that was the dumbest move I had ever made because he never stopped seeing this particular lady though he kept telling me that he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me.

Last month, I got the ultimate shock of my life which forced me out of dream land into reality; Chris got married! Apparently, a friend invited me for her court wedding and while we sat down awaiting her turn, Chris walked out with this same lady as his bride in the company of his friends and family. How I got out of that place remains a mystery….
I was duped with my full cooperation: only a fool could have done what I did in the name of love………….

It is a good thing to fall in love, as long as it is not with the wrong person. Most times we allow our emotions to overrule our senses, making us fall victim of ‘love dupes’. It’s not that we don’t see the handwriting on the wall most times, but we choose to ignore them and make ourselves susceptible to emotional trauma. For single ladies who can condone any rubbish in the name of love, I advise you should have a rethink because it never pays! Stop forcing yourself on any man who has little or no respect for you. If he truly loves you, he won’t cheat on you! Also, for men who play around with the emotions of the opposite sex, nemesis awaits you! Remember, what goes around comes around.

Thank you once again for your time, feel free to drop your comments and contributions or send me a mail through, or Till I come your way again next week, make your marriage work!


  1. Sandra says:

    Hmmmmm, Nawa oooo, rily speechless…Some signs r just not ignorable…May God help us to be wise… Tanx for dis post MA.

  2. Wilfem says:

    This’s the more reason why one needs to be ‘guided’, especially with spiritual discernment. As long as ‘showing love’ is not a bad thing, but showing it to the ‘wrong person’. My prayer is that God will help us all with His own guidance.

  3. Tunde Taiwo says:

    Ignoring the warning sign is calling for an unending war. Relationship or fellowship any partnership that separates us from those who can tell us the simplest truth, is a grave in the making. She lost it when she cut off from those individuals in her life God planted to help her.

  4. Funmilayo says:

    The amazing thing is that most people don’t learn from others and they are ‘too much in love’ to see the red flag until it is too late.
    Whenever there is something going on in courtship that is making you endure in the name of you don’t want to lose him….. better check it again.

    God bless you for sharing Sis. Ireti

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

error: Copyrighted Content! Protected !!