My Pastor Misled Me!

My name is Grace Benimo, I got married 2 years ago to John Benimo and I must confess that it had been hell since then. I was raised by devout Christian parents who taught me to reverence men of God and as a matter of fact, my parents never took decisions without consulting Pastor James, the resident Pastor of our Church.

Pastor James is a sound preacher of the Word, no doubt about that but I never liked how my parents idolised him. When I introduced Bode my fiancé to my parents, they sent us to pastor for confirmation and God’s approval. Pastor told me to keep off Bode if I wanted a blissful home; meanwhile, we had dated for a year before I could summon enough courage to take him to my parents. I was bitter about the whole thing but I had no choice other than to obey my pastor and parents.

Two years after my break-up with Bode, Pastor James called me to His office and after exchanging pleasantries, he told me about John Benimo’s intention of settling down with me in marriage. He said he had prayed about it and received confirmation from God but he wanted me to pray about it too. John Benimo the best worship leader in my Church wants me to be his wife? I couldn’t believe my ears! The fervent brother with good looks and loads of talent is any lady’s dream man. Although I would have wanted him to propose directly to me instead of going through my pastor but, all the same, I was glad he chose me among many ‘sisters’. We had no issues getting parental consent from my end because pastor was involved and within the same month, our pre-marital counselling began in church.

About 3 months into our courtship, I caught John in bed with one of the choir members and instead of being remorseful, he simply told me that it was just a fling and wouldn’t trade me for someone else. I threatened to report him to the pastor and immediately, he flared up, held my neck and pushed me to the wall while he threatened to deal with me if he heard about it from a third party. I pleaded with him and promised to keep mute.

John’s habitual sleeping around with ladies didn’t stop and when I tried calling off the relationship, he pleaded with me and promised it would stop once we got married. I believed him and held on to my pastor’s conviction about our relationship.

We eventually got married after 7 months of courtship and since then, I have not known peace. John’s infidelity gained more momentum, he also resorted to threats with occasional beatings. I can’t talk to anyone about it because of his reputation in church, on the other hand, I blame my pastor for not seeing that aspect of John when he got his ‘conviction’ or was he not supposed to get direct messages from God for his children? John still leads worship in church and I can’t help but wonder how people wouldn’t see beyond that facade of ‘false holiness’, only God knows the real worshippers.

Marriage is meant to be a lifetime contract and as such, one should give due diligence when it comes to the choice of life partner. When people depend solely on the conviction of a third party in choosing a life partner, they might get their fingers burnt. A third party is to confirm what you already know and not the other way round! There is nothing wrong in seeking counsel from spiritual leaders or parents but one shouldn’t make them a ‘god’. The irony of the whole thing is that they won’t be there with you when things go wrong. Furthermore, a partner who can’t keep away from infidelity before marriage won’t have any reason to stop after marriage. It is advisable to keep off from such relationships else, one will have tales of woe to share at the end. Remember, no one can mislead you without your consent!

Thank you once again for your time, feel free to drop your comments and contributions or send me a mail through info@iretiadeoyinleye.com, or iretioyinleye@gmail.com. Also, don’t forget to share the story with others too. Till I come your way again next week, make your marriage work!