Scars From My Past

September 25, 2016
October 8, 2016

It is quite easy to identify a woman who has gone through a severe fire accident; the scars will definitely tell. I am not a victim of any fire accident, neither do I have physical scars to remind me of any injury but my heart has been battered and I have sustained emotional scars. I can’t just bring myself to trust any man again; as a matter of fact, I no longer believe there are honest men out there.

My name is Joy; I was so named because I brought so much joy into the life of my parents after they had waited for a child for 10 years. Growing up was very interesting because I was doted on with a lot of affection by my parents. There was so much peace and harmony that I wished same for myself when I eventually settle down in marriage. I was so focused in my academic pursuits that by the time I graduated from the University, I wasn’t in any love relationship. I simply didn’t want to be one of those campus ‘used and dumped’ girls. I graduated with good grades and after my service year, I got a job with one of the biggest Multinationals.

Being a working class girl brought so much prestige to me, with the attendant workload, but I considered it worth every bit of my time and energy. After a while, my parents began to mount pressure on me concerning marriage and I felt it was high time for me to give it a favourable consideration. It was as if all the men around me read my mind because I began to have so many proposals that I almost got confused. However, one of them stood out. Daniel, whom I refer to as Dan was such a perfect gentleman with a great sense of humour. He treated me with so much love and care that I fell head over heels in love with him. It didn’t take long for me to introduce him to my parents, while he promised to take me to his parents immediately they came back from the UK. According to him, all his family members were based in the UK and that he was the only one in Nigeria. His explanation was okay because I was so much in love. Asides, he had told me to go ahead with the wedding plans contingent upon his parents’ arrival into the country during their vacation. I was so excited and immediately I started planning for an elaborate wedding with full support of my friends.

I was at the Salon with my friend Agatha one Saturday evening when a beautiful and elegantly dressed lady walked in. She came to visit her friend who was the owner of the Salon and while they were discussing and flipping through some wedding magazines, I joined in their conversation. She was also preparing for her wedding so I decided to pay more attention to enable me gather some necessary information for mine. We chatted for over an hour before her fiancé called to pick her up. She told him to come into the Salon to give his verdict on the style of wedding gown she chose. Behold, It was Dan that walked in majestically as the lady’s fiancé! To say I was dazed and shocked is an understatement, Dan was also shocked initially but he managed to comport himself. He greeted us casually, bent over to whisper something to the lady’s ears and shortly after both of them left the Salon. I left the Salon heartbroken while I awaited Dan’s explanation… he definitely didn’t show up. After several attempts to reach him proved abortive, I received a mail that turned my life upside down.

Dan in his mail explained why he had to relocate to the UK to meet his family. He was actually married with two children and he to him, I and the other lady were only ‘hand-picked’ to keep him company while in Nigeria. He said he wished me luck and advised that I move on with my life. It’s over 4years now and I just can’t bring myself to trust or love a man anymore…………

Sometimes people find themselves in unpleasant relationships that leave them with so much emotional scars. Some after a while move on with their lives while some are still held back in fear. The fact that people die in automobile accidents daily doesn’t stop others from riding in cars nor buying them, neither does it stop manufacturers from producing new cars. In the same vein, the fact that a man/woman decides to inflict injury on the heart of another is not enough to conclude that all men/women are the same. Holding on to scars from the past will prevent an individual from moving on in life and it will definitely deprive the fellow of other life transforming opportunities. Healing will come if the individual is willing to let go of the past while embracing divine strength to forge ahead. It is not an easy task but through the help of God, it is possible.

Thank you for your time, please drop your comments and share with others too. Till I come your way next week, make your marriage work!

1 Comment

  1. Sandra says:

    It’s actually a bad xperience to be used n dumped, some people take longer tym to heal n love again faster while some pple do not. Bt no mata Wat, we shd try to move ahead irrespective of past hurt, but be more careful and also let d Holy Spirit lead us.

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