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When I walked down the aisle 2 years ago with my wife, I thought I was entering into a life time of marital bliss. Little did I know that I was about to sign up for misery. My name is Felix, a 36 year old businessman who lives in Lagos. I met my wife Kate 3 years ago when I travelled to my hometown for Christmas. Though we didn’t hit it off too well at the beginning but with constant pressure from her friends, my family members and I, she eventually gave in to my advances. I have had my own dose of broken relationships in the past which my mother attributed to tribal differences, and so when Kate came on board, they were all too sure that she would make a wonderful wife since we were of the same tribe.

Kate is a very beautiful and intelligent lady I must confess; as a matter of fact, that was what got me attracted to her in the first place. In order to protect my interest and secure relief from constant pressure from my parents, I decided to seize the moment to tie the knots with her. Our courtship lasted for just six months and all through the period she never for once paid me a visit as she made me realize that her sister whom she was staying with wouldn’t allow her travel to see me unless we were officially married. I never saw that as a challenge because I wasn’t ready to raise issues that might break up our relationship, so I decided to fast track the wedding process. We had a wonderful wedding ceremony and later proceeded for our honeymoon at a resort in Calabar where we spent a week.

Immediately after our honeymoon, I had to travel on a business trip to Ghana for 5 days leaving my bride all alone to take care of our home. I could hardly concentrate while I was away from her so you can imagine how I felt when I was finally on the trip back home. I got home with some nice Ghanaian fabric which I bought for her to compensate for the time she had to spend alone but the sight of an unkempt house doused my excitement. Although my wife looked stunning in her outfit, I couldn’t help showing my displeasure at the sight of the untidy living room. She got angry and told me point blank that she wasn’t my domestic help and if I needed a clean house, I should hire a help. I couldn’t believe my ears but I didn’t want to make a mountain out of the mole hill so I ignored her comment. As if that wasn’t enough, when I asked her to get me a meal because I was famished, she said we should eat out because she just fixed her nails and wouldn’t want anything to tamper with them. It was as if I was watching a video because I couldn’t imagine it in reality but with the look on Kate’s face, I knew I was in deep trouble.

The next 5 days wasn’t pleasant for me because I had to tidy up the house and fix my meals. I even made several attempts to persuade her to join me in preparing the meals but she showed no interest rather she would be the first to eat the food as soon as I was done cooking. When I couldn’t bear it any longer, I had to take up the matter with her sister whom she lived with before we got married and to my greatest dismay, she told me that Kate had no ‘flair’ for cooking and domestic chores. The only way she felt she could get rid of her was to encourage her to get married. I was too shocked for words by her confession and couldn’t help wondering if there were more surprises in store for me. My Mother got wind of the situation through my younger sister who was at our house on a brief visit and when she tried talking to Kate, she practically told her off and warned her to steer clear from her marriage. One thing that baffles me in all of this is that Kate doesn’t joke with Church activities; she is even a member of the workforce. I wonder how she could claim to love the God she can’t see when she finds it difficult to take care of her husband. The domestic helps that I hired were sent packing one after the other by my wife who had one bad thing or the other against them. Presently my life is in a mess, my friends can’t visit and my relatives have practically abandoned me because of my wife; how long will I have to bear this?

People get married for different reasons, whatever the reasons are, we must be ready to face the consequences. Choosing a partner based on beauty, vital statistics and the likes is not ideal because they will fade away over time; what will then become of the marriage? Also, courtship is a period for intending couples to critically examine themselves and be certain if they are really sure of getting married to each other; most problems in marriage don’t just come up over night, they are usually as a result of some red flags that were overlooked or ignored during courtship; truth be told, a lady who can’t cook and is not willing to learn has no business getting married!
Another important advice for singles is that they shouldn’t allow anyone to coerce them into marriage because no one will be there when things are not working out. The rule is; ‘don’t sign up for what you are not ready for’!

Thank you once again for your time, feel free to drop your comments and contributions or send me a mail through info@iretiadeoyinleye.com, or iretioyinleye@gmail.com. Also, don’t forget to share the story with others too. Till I come your way again next week, make your marriage work!