Holy Deception

“It hurts so much when one’s hope and aspirations in marriage crumbles like a pack of cards”….

My name is Titilayo, the only daughter of my parents who are devout Christians. My father, being a strict secondary school principal, never took discipline with levity. Our finances weren’t so bad because we had enough to keep body and soul together without having to borrow. Being an educationist, he ensured we had sound education, while at the same time ensuring we did not neglect our commitment to the things of God. One thing I fault my dad for, is his gullibility when it comes to issues about ‘Men of God’. He believes them so much and will do anything just to show his loyalty. I guess that was the problem he had when Pastor Julius, who happens to be the one in charge of the youths in our Church, asked him for my hand in marriage. The man, though in his forties was unmarried at least to the best of my knowledge, has a good sense of humour which made him popular among the youths and the entire congregation. I had my reservations about him though, but my parents convinced me otherwise that getting married to a Pastor is the beginning of a blissful marriage. We eventually got married after my youth service and I became ‘Pastor’s wife’, much to the admiration and envy of the single girls in my church.

My marriage was blissful in the beginning. I enjoyed so much love and attention and within the first three months I got pregnant. My husband was so elated with joy and he doted on us even more.
My joy was however short lived when a lady about my age walked into our home with a shocking revelation. Guess what? She was my husband’s first child and she had two other siblings! My God! I was shocked to the marrow. She further explained how he (my husband) abandoned them in the North after claiming God called him, leaving them to fend for themselves. They were able to trace him to his present place of worship four years back but he warned them never to come looking for him and promised to send monthly upkeep to them. They were okay with the arrangement, particularly in light of the understanding he wasn’t living with another woman. When they heard about his wedding, they felt cheated and after much persuasion from their mother, she decided to show up and declare their identity. I didn’t need a soothsayer to tell me she was saying the truth because she is my husband’s split image. We waited for his arrival and when he sighted her, I saw the shock, anger and confusion written all over him. He scolded her openly and asked her to leave but when she threatened to make a public show of him, he kept his cool. He pleaded with us that he didn’t want a scandal that we should save him from being disgraced and dismissed. His daughter left, promising to keep in touch but I was left shattered and broken.

Julius pleaded with me to keep the matter within us that he was sorry for not telling me. I couldn’t do otherwise because I didn’t want to be a laughing stock among my peers. I kept mute but was suffering emotionally. It’s been three years since we got married and I have a son, yet I feel very empty because I am an accomplice to deception. I no longer have regard for him as a pastor and I still hate my parents for coercing me into this marriage. I am tired of this pretence but I don’t know how to go about it………

It is so pathetic when those who are supposed to lead others in the right path, choose to lead them astray. It is more pathetic when those who claim to be followers of God, choose to follow men instead of the God they claim to serve. Quite unsurprising they fall victims because their attention has shifted from the creator to the creature. He who has ears let him hear.
It is paramount to give due diligence when choosing a life partner, if one is not convinced it’s better to give more time than to allow someone else push you into a journey of misery. We should revere our parents, but when it comes to the issue of marriage it is better to prayerfully tell them our stand. This is because they would not go into the marriage with us and whatever we are faced with in marriage does not affect them directly. Parents are meant to guide their children but please don’t force or coerce them into doing what they don’t feel like doing.
It is also advisable to visit your spouse frequently especially when he has to work in another state or country. Register your presence and be friendly with neighbours and colleagues when you visit, let them know who you are. This will somehow keep him/her in check mostly because he/she knows the news might filter out and you will be saving yourself from misery. May God help us all.

Thank you once again for your time, I really want to use this medium to thank everyone that dropped their comments and shared my link last week including all my followers since inception; God bless you all. Please feel free to drop your comments and contributions or send me a mail through info@iretiadeoyinleye.com, or iretioyinleye@gmail.com also remember to share the link with others too. Till I come your way again next week, blessings!

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