Why Hurt Me?

It is so painful and heart breaking when someone you trust and respect hurts you badly, the pain usually has a long lasting effect…..
My name is Kikelomo Davis, the only girl among six boys in my family. I am a legal practitioner by profession and married to Bayo Davis, my heartthrob from way back on campus. I was raised in a religious setting; my parents are devoted Christians though they had little or no time for us. My Father works in an Oil Servicing firm while my Mum traded in baby wares. She travels mostly out of the country to get her stock which she sells to wholesalers and retailers. Money was never an issue with my parents but spending time with us was, although we had enough domestic staff to take care of house chores and a nanny to attend to our needs. Mum’s younger brother was also living with us which made my parents feel more secured.

My Mum’s younger brother Tunde, ‘Uncle Tee’ as we often called him was so caring and kind. He mostly spoiled us with gifts, and for me, he ensures nobody bullies me in the house. He treated me like a princess and I enjoyed every bit of his attention, to the envy of my siblings. He taught me a lot in life; as a matter of fact, one of the things he taught me led me to the predicament I found myself in. I somehow believe it all boiled down to the gap created by my Parent’s busy schedule. My Mum, for instance, didn’t know when I started my monthly period at the age of 12, until a year after when she accidentally stumbled upon a pack of sanitary towel in my room. I can’t forget the shock on her face when I told her that I started a year ago and thanks to Uncle Tee who told me what to do. Not that she subsequently did anything spectacular though, she just told me not to keep important information as such from her again and emphasized on how lucky I was to have had him for an Uncle.

Uncle Tee and I became very close especially after helping me out with my ‘period issues’. There was nothing I kept back from him and sometimes I stay in his room till late in the night watching movies with him. On one of such nights, I found him watching an X-rated film which he told me I was big enough to watch at age 13; so I sat down innocently to watch. Unfortunately, it was the beginning of my undoing. I got addicted to watching those films with him and on one of such nights; my 24 year old uncle raped me. I was devastated but he pleaded with me that he was sorry for losing control of himself and that I shouldn’t tell anyone about it. Well, that was the beginning because he never stopped ‘losing control’ of himself until I got pregnant. I felt feverish and vomited especially in the mornings, but because Mum had to travel that morning, coupled with the fact that Dad was away for a course in the UK, she asked Uncle Tee to take me to the hospital for treatment. Uncle Tee asked if I had seen my period lately and I told him I had not seen it in 2 months. I discovered he felt uneasy but he assured me that I would be fine. Well, Uncle Tee made arrangement for the termination of the pregnancy and because it was unprofessionally done, I developed some complications after. Mum came back from her trip to meet me in bad shape so she decided to take me to the hospital herself where she heard the bitter truth about my situation. Mum wept bitterly and was almost beside herself with rage when I told her Uncle Tee was responsible. I was admitted and given medical attention and by the time I got back home, Uncle Tee had been sent out of our home. Mum said she didn’t want any family issues so she decided to let things be.
I live with this guilt and pain all alone because the one I trusted took advantage of my innocence and he was allowed to go scot-free.

It has been 15 years after the whole episode and 2 years into my marriage. I have not been able to conceive, so my husband insisted we do a medical checkup. It was during the process that I was told that my tubes were blocked which must have been an aftermath of post abortion complications. Uncle Tee is married with children but here am I bearing the pain of his evil act. If only I had someone to teach me the truth while I was a child, I believe all of these would have been averted. My advice to all parents is to spend time with their children, be close to them, ensure adequate protection and give them sex education early because if you don’t, someone is out there waiting to mislead them. Also, they should encourage their wards to speak out and expose anyone who tries to molest them. A stitch in time saves nine; why have more victims when there are possible ways of preventing Child Sexual Abuse? For those who are victims like me, treated unjustly by loved ones or society, although we can’t wipe away the past, we can write our future. As difficult as it seems, just stay strong and hold on to God, believe in yourself and let the healing process begin.

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