He Broke My Heart

Why are men so heartless? Why can’t they just stay off relationships if they know that they can’t remain committed to their promises? Why make genuine love look so unreal? These are some of the questions that had been bothering my mind since my breakup with Jude. Honestly, I don’t think I can give my heart to any other man again!

My name is Tina, a 27 year old single girl with a very lucrative job. Growing up for me wasn’t fun at all because my parents parted ways when I was just 5years old and I was left to live with my mum and 2 siblings. Mum did all she could to take care of us but she couldn’t fill the gap of not having a father figure in the home. Mum is very industrious and because she had us to feed, she had no choice than to commit most of her time to work and business. Although we couldn’t attend schools with the children of the high and mighty in the society, I am grateful to God that we were still able to get good education despite dad’s refusal to support mum. The most annoying part is the fact that dad had the capacity to give us twice what mum could afford but he just refused to be part of our lives; he rather remained single with a chain of girlfriends.

I made it through school with good grades because I was determined and purposeful; so I had no time for relationships or social life. I got a job almost immediately after the completion of my youth service and I must tell you that I threw myself at work and my dedication earned me rapid promotion within 3 years at 25 years old. The promotion of course came with juicy benefits which motivated me the more to put in my best until Jude walked into my space.

Jude is any woman’s dream of an ideal man. Apart from his good looks, he’s also very intelligent and hardworking. We met through Loveth, a senior colleague of mine who was always pestering me to get hooked so as not to remain single for life. Although her intentions were good, my experience with Jude almost made me crucify her for bringing him my way. We started quite well with the intention of getting married and I must confess that he filled the vacuum my dad had left in my heart. I gave my whole heart to him and never did anything without consulting him. We dated for almost 2 years but I never had a chance of meeting his parents despite the fact that he had access to my mum and siblings at will. He kept making promises of taking me to them but he always had an excuse for not fulfilling these promises. Mum called my attention to it but I was too blinded by love to heed her warnings and of course I was inexperienced to detect the tell-tale signs, him being my first love.

The scales eventually fell off my eyes when a friend of Jude tagged him on Facebook with pictures of a traditional wedding and to my utmost shock, Jude was the groom and I wasn’t the bride. I was dumbfounded as I couldn’t just believe what I saw and to worsen it, I discovered through the social media. I called Jude after I had regained my composure a bit and he did confirm it. He said it wasn’t intentional but that his parents made him do it because they never wanted him to marry a girl from a broken home and he couldn’t just summon the courage to tell me. Like seriously? What kind of a man does that? Is it my fault that my parent’s marriage didn’t work out? Why must I pay for a debt that I did not incur? Why didn’t he just let me be when he knew he was having issues with his parents concerning our relationship? I couldn’t just believe it when he said he had to have a backup since he wasn’t sure they would change their mind about me. Honestly I was terribly devastated and broken, the effect of which had taken its toll on my job. My boss recently called my attention to the lapses he noticed in my work lately and guess what? I don’t think I care! I just want to be left alone!

Sometimes in life we find ourselves in situations we never bargained for but instead of resigning to fate or allowing ourselves to sink under the load we didn’t package for ourselves, we should brace up and move on; it is not the end of life! Why must your life grind to a halt because someone feels you are not the best for them? I must tell you that it is not a walk in the park but with determination and trust in God, we can heal faster.

Also we must realize that children from broken homes pass through a lot of challenges while growing up and to make them suffer the consequences of their parents’ actions is not fair. Furthermore, it is not advisable for a lady to remain in a relationship with a man who has proposed marriage but refuses to introduce her to his parents or family members. As a matter of fact, most times, there are tales of misery attached to such relationships. For those who believe in having a ‘backup’ in case a relationship doesn’t work out, please desist from such because you are not being honest and committed to either of them; simply put, you don’t really know what love means!

Thank you once again for your time, feel free to drop your comments and contributions or send me a mail through info@iretiadeoyinleye.com, or iretioyinleye@gmail.com. Also, don’t forget to share the story with others too. Till I come your way again next week, make your marriage work!